Please do join us in this controversial debate, feel free to share your thoughts on this one because they are always important; you never can tell who you are passing a message to. This is a very sensitive matter and everyone is entitled to his or her own beliefs. Drama and I (Shawn) bare our minds on this one; and it definitely is a classic. Last week’s Sunday Love Special was on Sex before marriage: a sin or necessary evil? You really need to check that out; controversy at its peak.
Below is just my take on the topic “can you marry an ex prostitute?”…
I know many of you out there can easily say “yes, I can marry a prostitute if she has changed her ways”. But let me ask you again “can you REALLY marry an ex prostitute?” That isn’t really the kind of question you can answer under hours talk less of minutes; I did a lot of thinking (very long thinking) before I came up with my answer to this question and NO I can’t marry an ex prostitute. You may have a different answer but this is my take on the issue and I have my reasons.
I’m going to base my answer on emotions and behavioural perspective; yes I’m a realist. First of all, it’s a known fact that men love sex; you can call it our breakfast before the breakfast (that’s if you know what I mean; laughing). It’s also a fact that elderly men in marriages cheat and tend to get tired of having sex with their wives because of the porousness of the vagina as a result of child birth and SO MUCH SEX. Now that is a wife, not to talk of an ex prostitute that has spent large sums of her life getting pounded by men with different sizes of ‘pestles’ at intervals. I’m not going to prolong on the sex matter; you surely have an understanding of what I’m talking about.
The next point that came into my mind was prestige which is a natural behavioural perspective of every man. Class, social status and prestige are traits found in every man but each having it at different levels. A man that really loves his wife takes pride in showing her off to friends and every other person he comes across; she’s his jewel and he loves her. But the question remains; can you show off an ex prostitute to friends and family? Can you live with the shame of her previous life not bothering upon you? Can you? I really need answers.
Now let’s relate it to health; how safe can you classify an ex prostitute? STD’s and STI’s aren’t really issues to shy away from; they are a real and are a big part of the society we live in. Can you have consciously and wholeheartedly have sex with an ‘ex prostitute’ of a wife? Please don’t tell me the answer because some people are generally blessed with a biased mind; keep it to yourself, but I’m sure you know the truth.
Also, families are a big part of our lives, a very big part. Now, can you boldly introduce your soon to be married ex prostitute of a wife (sorry for being blunt) to your family, telling them you want to marry her? Of course no family would support that; the next question is can you live with the victimization of your family on your marriage? Can you live without their love, their support, their care?
Finally, I’m going to ask my last question; can you trust an ex prostitute? A woman that sold sex for a living, can you trust her to give it to ONLY YOU for the rest of her life? Whether she has sex with another person or not isn’t even the issue, what matters most is your ability to trust her without discrimination. We all know that trust is a prerequisite for a solid home and a successful marriage. Even before you trust her, can you even trust yourself that you can satisfy her sexually; remember she sold sex for a living.
I don’t think there should be any moral justification to go into prostitution; you are not the only one that has passed through hard times and selling sex for a living is definitely not the only job on the street. I believe only those with a weak heart can go into prostitution (so why should I marry one with a weak heart); those with the mind of making very quick money without much work. It’s a big NO for me; I can’t marry an ex prostitute.
I can be friends with an ex prostitute most definitely but I can’t trust her for marriage. Marriage is a very complicated union, so why further complicate it.
When you think of the reason why people consider prostitutes ‘societal outcasts’, and discriminate against them, you find none quite morally justifiable. People are always quick to point to the fact that they have to’ trade their dignity’ for money or some reward; but think about it, what girl hasn’t had to sleep with another person to get some form of reward or gratification in return? You’d agree with me that there isn’t really one you can vouch for. The average lady out there has a man whom she has to continually ‘service’ sexually to get something in return—maybe monetary reward, material reward or otherwise. So for me, there is not much difference between the woman who has to hide behind the excuse of a ‘love relationship’ to get what she wants, and the lady in the streets. If there is a difference, it is the fact that the lady in the streets is brave enough to be honest about what she does.
Again, you look around the world, and you see so much hardship and suffering. There are no jobs, and cost of living is high—now, in the face of all these, would it be morally appropriate to discriminate against a lady because she resorted to prostitution as a means of livelihood after a frustrating spell in the labor market? Definitely not! What else would you have her do? Turn to robbery and fraud maybe? At least, with prostitution, she has to harm no one or break any heart. In fact, if she’s putting anyone in harm’s way, it is herself. Ask any lady in the streets, and you’ll marvel at the sort of challenges she has to put up with just to get by—there are STDs and AIDS to be contracted, and of course, the risk of an unwanted pregnancy. Do you honestly think a sane person would go into such a risky venture as a means of survival unless they had to? Why then would I not marry a prostitute if I find her attractive enough for me? She hasn’t killed or defrauded anyone; all she did was what she deemed necessary for her survival. Think about it, have we all not found ourselves in tight situations where we’ve had to resort to something ‘petty’ just to pull through? She was a prostitute, it’s in the past now, so- long as she has turned a new leaf, there is no reason why I wouldn’t marry her. If for anything, the kind of pain and agony, as well as the risks she’s had to survive make her an emotionally strong person, and a great wife material.
Prostitutes are not criminals, they’re not devils or an abomination—they’re humans like you and I, and victims of circumstance. So, If I do fall in love with one today or tomorrow, I am wifing her.
This is our opinion on this highly controversial matter, don’t forget to tell us what you think too; until next week where we would bring yet another intriguing topic on our Sunday Love Special. You know how we do it at Frizzypedia. Have a blessed day.